Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tango!

I started writing this story years and years ago. The book is complete but wrought with problems that I need to fix before submitting. Here is the beginning. Tell me if you think it's worth the trouble to rewrite. I cannot wait to hear your comments!

Tango

Though a cage may be made of solid gold, it is still a cage...Mexican Proverb

1
Her purse was bubble gum pink. It swung from Thalia Davila’s arm as she walked along the tree-lined streets on her way to meet her fiancĂ© Luis Arroyo. Today was ‘d-day’ in the Big D; detonation day, dumping day, and disposal day in Dallas. Even though she wasn’t all that convinced breaking up with Luis was what she wanted to do, Thalia wasn’t ready for marriage either. Now was the time to put her feelings right out in the open. “It's over,” she’d say. Simple -and with just two words she’d be free.
The pedestrian crossing light at the corner of Ross and Pacific Avenues turned red. She stopped here, and used this moment to help gather her nerve. Of course, Luis would ask why she was breaking their engagement. That was a given. With so many reasons to choose from, which one should she pick? Thalia tapped her foot in thought. Ah-ha, the best answer loomed directly in front of her; it was the loft apartment –Luis’s surprise-wedding gift. The problem was it overlooked the city at the same time the city would be overlooking her. Luis kept making solitary decisions on her behalf and now, she had enough of his controlling nature. Love wasn’t enough. There was no way she could stand in church, before God and man, and say the words …forever, till death do us part. The ring on her finger cinched tighter about her neck.
Now her only dilemma was deciding when to break the news to him… would it be before lunch or after dessert?

4 comments:

Christine said...

Robin, I like the musical quality of these words--don't know any other way to put it. The only thing I can think to ask is if it's similar to Passages? From this opening I anticipate similar trouble ahead...

Linda said...

What a hook! Gotta read this one!

Robin Shope said...

No, not similiar to PASSAGES at all. Its a much lighter read...and a fun one too! I better dust this off and get going on it..between my other 2 books that is!

SAD man said...

Nice lead; would keep on reading, wondering what adventuresome journey you are taking us on this time.
Your title immediately brought the Beatles song into my head.
Keep on keeping.